Ordinary Days, Extraordinary Scott

I just keep thinking of how much I loved just being in Scott's presence. Joy is a great word to describe it! Oh how my boys loved and continue to love him. After a long day trip to St. George, we were riding home. I thought the boys in the back seat were asleep, but Ethan suddenly started crying. "I would die for Scott....he was just so kind."

Hearing this has moved me not just because I wish I could have saved him somehow, too, but because of the deep love that his family has for him.

I had a thought over the weekend-- that my grief that Scott has died is great, very great. But also, there came a time when that close, cuddly, "come 'ere Scott, let's read....let's play....let's go in the back yard and jump" time came to a close. Oh how I miss that season! I never really consciously grieved over what a huge change, what a loss that was after moving out. So when I cry I think it's because of how much I miss Scott, how sorry I am for how much he suffered, and I hurt for the change that inevitably took place with growing up. Perhaps this why the grief over a death of someone so dear is not simple-- there are many facets to the mourning...