I spoke with our bishop again last Sunday.
He referred me to a counselor at LDS Family Services.
He also said that in his life experiences the depression following the death of a close loved one feels very deep, and very permanent...
But that with time the depression passes - that it's temporary.
However, he said that I need to let Jesus Christ atone for what has happened; that the atonement is infinite and all-encompassing. He said that as soon as I lay my burden at the feet of Christ, and know that he has more than taken care of it that my deep pain and bitterness will be gone.
Basically - he told me to live my religion.
I have encountered, as we all have, some really incredible trials in our lives, and while I thought I've applied the atonement through my life this situation has shown me that the atonement goes much deeper than I ever realized - much deeper than my hurt.
Jesus atoned for the sins of us all. He was perfect, and our mediator with the Father. He is our elder brother, and our Savior. Our Redeemer.
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