Thoughts about Scott

Dan, thank you for your posts. I am appreciative that you are inviting other family members to write about Scott on your blog-- that's very open and generous of you.

Some days I wake up and think it seems weird that the stores are open, the mail is still coming, the kids have to go to school, ....because there's not the month-long (at least) moment of silence for Scott that I wish there was. I want to see stores with darkened windows, restaurants with signs of "Come back in June" and just feel that there's a reverence set aside for such a life-changing event. It makes me wonder, as I go about my day and see people who have pain in their faces, how many others have sadness from this kind of loss.

Scott was so energetic and full of creativity, I think it was designed for him to come to a family where we could all play a part in taking care of him. As he got older, the more important thing to me was just making sure he knew he wasn't forgotten. My efforts pale next to some of the other family members', but I still know that he knew I loved him very much. But mortal love couldn't solve the depth of his pain and-- as freely as it was extended by Mom and Dad especially-- his complexities of pain and loneliness couldn't be healed here. I have been blessed with a firm assurance that he loves me and I know that he is still the Scott that we remember, only completely full of love!

There is a beautiful green mountain not even a mile from where I stand when I step out our front door. Lately it has been carressed by whispy after-rain clouds and hazy sunlight. At the peak of one of its crests, there is a home built with this sort of Asian look to it. Maybe it's my mortal need for territory for myself and loved ones, but I picture Scott in a place like this. With hardwood floors, and plenty of time for meditation and progression into his eternal future-- a future without limitations, a future infused with the power of the infinite Atonement.

Communicating with Scott through prayer I believe is not figurative or imaginative in any way. I really believe that with the power of spirit to spirit communication, he is not only hearing the words we send to him, but all the feelings of our hearts and souls that accompany the message, as well.

Cody, my 6 year old said that when we see Scott again, he'll be "Super Scott." He went on to say that super heroes are real-- "they're the spirits that are helping us."

I can hardly wait to see you Scott! I hope you're getting ready to show us all or your favorite spots.

Elaine